Hi. It's been a very long time since I've posted anything.
I think that's partially because I don't need this blog as much as I did a year ago. Someday I'll talk about what that time was like, in retrospect. Suffice it to say, now I am open and honest and real and if I am sad it's not because of secrets. Because I have less secrets, I have less need for a secret blog!
This is all going to change exactly a month from today. After a year away, I will be returning to Provo for the summer.
I'm trying to promise myself that I'll be more open this time, but let's be real...I probably won't. Old habits die hard. And I still don't want my roommates to be scared of or weirded out by or sickened by me. And now I have short hair which just automatically gives me about twenty Scary Lesbian points.
But things are changing. Have you heard about the Gay Student Panel at BYU? It was an INCREDIBLE success. People are ready to talk. Because of people who are forever braver than I am.
You know, people tell me I'm brave. My friends tell me all the time I'm so brave I'm so strong. But man...look at my friends who are still there. Who are there and open and proud. They're the brave ones. They're the strong ones.
Change won't happen overnight. But hopefully slowly but surely, nobody will ever have to feel like they are the only one.
I'm going to try to update regularly this summer about what's actively going on in my life. Since this is my gay blog, it'll probably be about the things that I'm seeing and experiencing around Provo. I'm also most likely coming out to my mom this summer.
I'll also try to fill in the gaps left in my story. I know that was the original premise of this blog - to tell my story. And I never told the juicy parts! I'll try to get there this summer as well.
A goal I have for myself to improve my writing. My writing has really devolved in the past few years and I'm just not nearly as eloquent as I used to be. I'd love to get some of both my eloquence and my wit back.
Good luck with your finals everyone and I'll talk to you soon.
View the Tumblr version of this post.